I never thought that having returned back to my country that I would be missing London to this extent. It got me questioning why oh why don't we properly appreciate the present moment?  Us as human beings always live in the future and dwell in the past it's a common fact and very few amongst us succeed at living in the present moment at all given times. It's a daily goal I'm trying to master but I'll tell you it ain't anywhere close to easy, there's always something that get's into the way  - anxiety for one climbs all the way to the top of my list.

CHALLENGE TO SELF: Stop overthinking and just live. 

I loved every moment of my stay in London and it breaks my heart today to now look back and realise it's all become the past . To recollect at how many times I wanted to one day return back to my home town, I now have a slight regret of not appreciating the life I had in London to it's fullest.. as let's face it no matter which country you're in - shit follows and that's just called life. This goes down to always comparing and idealizing your old life which even at that time you would have thought you could do with change but then becomes a hint of nostalgia when you later look back. It's weird how we always want what we can't have right? 

Having returned back to Malta, the country which I grew up in for the 18 years prior to leaving home, I never thought that upon my return I would have become such a changed person. I never really saw the connection with myself and London until this last month, but I can see clearly now the rain has gone - literally!!! (Atleast I make myself laugh) it has made it's impact on me, I tried so hard once I was up there to keep my French/ Maltese identity but after six years residing in the UK it's safe to say that even though I am not considered British - Britain one hundred percent has got my heart and will be a big part of me for the rest of my days - I am forever grateful. 

It will always be the place which thought me to leave home, become independent, live alone, it thought me how to love, appreciate my country and my family, it changed my frame of mind to a complete 360 degrees. It's shaped me into the adult I am today, for all the obstacles and challenges I faced and overcome and let's just say London is the number one country to make you appreciate the true value of money. 

I'm writing this post, naturally with a mug of coffee (no surprise there) on a HOT sunday morning. You see it was common for me to come down during the summer months and enjoy some family quality time and soak up the excruciating heat just to make it enough to endure a cold winter back in London. However, by now, mid-August I would have already been on my return flight back to London and get back to my own place and startup my daily routine. This time it's different - I don't know when the next time I'll be heading back and it's been a little hard to digest that this is not a holiday and this is actually where I am based now. We can say that I'm experiencing a hint of being home sickness; which I find funny/ironic considering my family is based here, so originally Malta is considered my home but as my heart was in London for the last seven years, I guess it's hard letting that all go and become the past. It's all about looking forward from this point on and subsiding the pain, heartbreak and loss that you might be experiencing throughout this point in your life. 

I've assigned myself five challenges to overcome being home sick, here is what I think would help myself and hopefully could be useful or helpful to whoever is in the same boat as me!  Scroll down.

1) FIND A JOB / HAVE A DAILY ROUTINE

If I thought London was a pickle for job hunting, Malta isn't exactly any better right now.. && let's just say in a country where Fashion is a little limited and backwards.. A fashion degree and orientated CV isn't exactly working in my favour. A job will definitely help in the long run, hopefully it will be sooner rather than later to keep your sanity, your mind and yourself busy plus earning a little extra on the side is a small bonus, just kidding massive bonus. 

2) GIVE A CHANCE TO CHANGE 

Hmmm.. this one will be a toughy. Anyone who truly knows me will gather that I HATE CHANGE it's funny considering I love spontaneity. I am a person who loves to be organised and have a routine going and you  mess with the system it takes me a while to adjust/ adapt hence this blog post of being home sick, it's been a little hard to digest the whole thing. The best description of this year is I feel like I keep being picked upside down and shook and when my feet finally touch the ground I feel light headed and dizzy and takes me time to adjust back to reality and once that's the case here we go again something else picks me back upside down and it's became a paradigm of 2017 for me, how many months left to 2018? Damn it you see.. it's about living in the moment, i told you it ain't easy!  

3) BECOME AN EXTROVERT

I've really set myself up to get out of my comfort zone which is already making me itch relating to second step above - I hate change. I for one, am an introvert. What does that mean? I choose staying indoors any day to heading out - give me a sushi night cuddled with a good movie, company or have a beauty session any day to clubbing and being out - but hey socialising is important especially when you're starting fresh. It's important to meet new people that could inspire you and lead to new greater things. Change is perhaps good and it's only through change and being outdoors can better things happen. Surround yourself with positive people, explore new things,  make this change exciting and a new start. 

4) RECREATE NEW OLD HABITS  

One thing that perhaps has been setting me backwards is the all the habits that I had that I will no longer be able to have access to. I do somehow today feel lost without them in my daily life - somehow I've always been on holiday mode whilst in Malta so I never had a chance to gain proper rituals but I guess it's about time I start. I know this might be cliche but I am missing my usual cups of coffee from Starbucks especially when I incorporated it into my daily routine be it during a uni day, work day or even when I treated myself to one on a day off, they all had a significant meaning and a home made cup of coffee is good but it doesn't represent the same thing. It was my guilty pleasure, and an expensive one once it adds up. 

Nothing will ever be the same, you can never 100% fully replace something or someone for that matter perhaps these steps all link to number two - accept different. (After all, change is the major factor of this post) Try incorporate the things that made you happy in your old life and bring them into your new life. It could be upgraded habits, exactly the same or cutting a habit and changing it for something else. 

5) PLAN A VISIT

I don't know on what terms you left things back home, but for me I can't just pick up and leave without looking back on London especially with all the fond memories I carry with me. Who knows perhaps one day I'll be back but it's not in the cards for me right now. For now I can just be excited to go on holiday and visit  friends and pick up on what will now be considered old habits. It's important to have something to look forward to that makes the whole process bearable and gives you something to look forward to whilst trying to enjoy the present moment! I'm sure in time it will get easier, like does everything else but for now I need to go back for a visit stat - this peak season can't end soon enough! 

Bonjour les amis!  After 23 years of flexible travelling to Paris I still cannot contain my excitement each time I return. Being born here and holding half a french identity whilst having family based here has always allowed me to call this beautiful place home. I get asked countless of times why I'm based in London rather than in Paris and well...It goes without saying that France is a big part of who I am and sometimes it takes me returning to my childhood place to realise certain things and to get to understand (& know) myself  better and stay connected with the way I grew up. The truth is that the excitement I share with you all as I write this, I fear would no longer be the case if I had to bring my everyday life into the equation.  It would no longer be my little escape, a place where I can come to refresh and relax. - you know what they say too much of a good thing, just like every thing else it would lose it's charm and I am not ready to give the love I have for Paris up and the sensation it gives me, it holds a place too close to my heart. I have plenty of childhood memories that I cherish everyday when I return and I somehow feel right in my element and can forget the world and stress around me whilst I'm here (sure wine gives me a hand at doing that but hey I'm not complaining) 

5AM  I usually never catch the eurostar very early, it's always a later train but there was a good deal going on and catching the early train meant catching a bargain. Ofcourse, I usually would have caught a taxi this early like I usually do when heading to the airport early morning.. but let's just say with December's salary it's always a stretch especially after the Christmas period. Roll on payday - - x3 days to go! (& counting) I have to admit despite it having been -3 degrees celsius & freezing waiting for the night bus to arrive, it was quite pleasant and on the whole it was a not such a strenous process to travel. I suprisingly enjoyed it and with no traffic on the road made getting to my destination faster and with no problem. 

Since moving to London it has made it easier for me to travel back and forth to Paris. It's a hop on, hop off process where you don't even have to wait for your luggage after the journey. You collect everything as you get off the train et voila les vacances commence. It takes about 2hours and a half journey in total if not slightly less. which is absolutely nothing if you think about it. Either that or I just got used to it.

I just seem to always be lucky when travelling to get no one next to me. It's always the case on my way to a destination and find myself sitting next to someone on my way back but I don't mind. I like to see it that I start my holiday in style and end with it going back to reality. I  love to spread myself, having my essentials on hand rather than underneath the seat (who doesn't) so it's quite fortunate to always have more than one seat available - the plus side to that is also having the luxury of resting diagonally to take in a better nap, not my first time I've managed to do that with ease.

I've been using the Eurostar for so many years now and I will continue to use it in the near future.  I might consider the early train more often as not only is it hassle free but you gain more of a day when you arrive at your destination. I usually always come for a quick few days and I'm always sad to leave but I know that I will be back again soon enough. For now I'm going to switch away from technology, relax, kick back and enjoy the next few days to really be in the moment and I will speak to you all when I'm back. 

A très bientôt. 

X

I can't believe that my holiday has come to an end. Malta is obviously home. So when it comes to looking at it as a holiday we don't quite do the same things as we usually would do in another foreign country. However, due to having a friend come over from England we got to play more tour guides and explore the Maltese Islands with him, which made it a nice balance of home and holiday. it's true that if it was summer we would have had even more things to do to make the most of the Mediterranean sea but we still managed to do various things, such as Go - Karting, Horse Riding and visiting some key areas, that just makes you fall in love with the country all over again.

I have to admit - I was nervous at the beginning, I haven't ridden a horse since .. well never. I used to ride a white pony named Arabesque back in Paris when I was younger but this didn't quite measure out to be the same. Her name is Delilah, yes I stayed singing the 'Hey there Delilah' song all throughout and quite frankly she grew a liking towards it & that's how we bonded - Thanks Plain White T's.

You know what they say when in doubt follow the sun

Another true beauty is Dingli Cliffs. I have to admit out of the whole two weeks that day was the coldest - the wind had really picked up.  In the horizon, the first and only thing you get to see is filfla  - the tiny rock in the middle of nowhere that no one is allowed to step foot upon however, it's more the sea, and beyond that catches my eye. a true vision - the reflection of the sun was almost silver reflecting upon the sea which almost made it heaven like. You don't have to spend hours here to take it all in , it affects you instantly. 

I'm just going to come straight out and say it - Mdina wasn't so much for the heritage that we went but more for Fontanella coffee shop and the iconic chocolate cake that we knew was waiting for us. Ofcourse, we did a good stroll around - but our coffee break took the cake! (Literally)

We did manage to catch the view which you can see whilst sitting down and I was completely amazed how I got to see half of the island in the shade and the rest in pure sunshine, it's something I had never seen before and I am so glad that I got to catch it in the moment, it was way more striking off camera though - as are most things!

When I'm back home, there's always so much food involved, from grandparents cooking, to home cooked meals to going out meeting and catching up with friends, this time I went for a late brunch at U-Bistro for a catch up with a friend -  safe to say we did not eat all of this food! The omelette was amazing, and perhaps was our favourite part from this brunch (& the healthiest too) We both got super excited when we saw pancakes & waffles on the menu and couldn't make up our mind as to which to get; it was like Sophie's choice. We compromised by deciding to get both! We both managed to take a pancake each but struggled immensely with the waffles -  the coffee on another note was fantastic.

I went to one of my favourite restaurants which happens to be Gululu, it's Maltese cuisine - and I go for the same thing every time, the L-Gharbija Ftajjar Pizza. I crave this when I'm in London and never bother to change my order. It's made with traditional Maltese dough, hummus, lamb & topped off with feta cheese ; any one drooling yet? Half is enough, My friend took the fresh calamari with gluten free pasta, and I have to say after tasting it, it was absolutely divine - get a glass of wine - sit outside with the blankets like we did, stay by the sea and take in the breeze and the night is absolutely complete. We walked off our dinner by walking on the sea front, which we do often here and is an amazing way of helping digest, I love how easily accessible my little town is.

My spine right now is so bruised .. I wonder why. I have to say I'm an exceptional driver and I am questioning why it is I hadn't gotten my license the first time round! In a matter of fifteen minutes I managed to over cross the tyres to end up on the other side of the track, did a complete 360 twice whilst turning, and going full speed without taking my foot of the pedal - I am quite the adrenaline junkie , I love these things although I didn't quite follow the proper technique I had loads of fun. I could have come close to first,( that is of course, if I didn't get stuck in a pot hole for two minutes had to be rescued!) I haven't done Go- Karting in so many years & unlike horse riding, you are in control. Definitely, keeps you buzzing for a while after! It cost 25 euros for half an hour. In the UK its double that price at £50 so was definitely worth it doing in Malta!

One of my good friends Claudia took part in an exhibition, where she worked closely with the photographer & Stylist  - this art exhibition was inspired by a number of fairy tale stories such as beauty and the beast, little mermaid , sleeping beauty et cetera and twisted the story line with current social issues - bringing social commentary and awareness to problems such as abuse, arranged marriage, portrayal of beauty in the media, abortion, sexuality, malnutrition and so on. The was a description for each photo in Maltese but quite frankly the photos spoke strongly for themselves. I was very impressed with this exhibition, I love photography, and appreciate a good art piece, this was well put together and  looking forward for future works.

that's a small preview of my week, I was constantly on the go trying to make the most of my time, and with that naturally I saw the time pass much faster.  It's funny how I woke up in one country, and ending the day in another - I enjoyed being back home and being able to spend quality time with both my family & friends, however, I'm slightly content being back in the UK simply to get back into a routine. I am currently in my onesie, sipping on a hot yogi tea & adjusting back to the cold -  Tom and I decided to order some chinese for the evening & we're ready to knock out straight after. I better quickly recuperate because I start work again tomorrow, back to reality ... Next up is our seven year anniversary coming up today week! 

Packing can be rather strenuous, especially depending on the length of your holiday. This time I went down to Malta for two whole weeks with only x1 luggage, with all the events I knew were already planned and the spontaneous outings that usually occur I had to make sure to be presentable and ready for such occasions. What I have tried to do is alternate between various clothing to relate to the activity, whilst also trying to mix and match certain items which I can assure you can be quite a challenge at always making it work! Here is an outlook of my first week in Malta and what I wore, The majority of my outfits have been planned to be super relaxed as it enables me to do lots of running around which undoubtedly was the case.

OUTFIT ONE:
Hello from Malta! I am finally here & to greet me the sun came out, which results in me finally getting to wear my fave sunnies after a few months of not fulfilling it's purpose in London!  My first few days in Malta are always manic - I usually go do the rounds of saying hello to some friends and family, whilst also catching up on certain appointments. Today, I had my hairdresser booked in whilst also, having a lunch at my grandparents straight after, to then have a back to back appointment for an impromptu dentist visit (the horror of the wisdom teeth), I straight after run further errands with my mum and only allowed me to have an hour or two to relax, before having to meet a good friend of mine for a well deserved glass of wine in the evening whilst having a good old catch up. My outfit of course changed for the evening, but for the duration of the day this is how I was dressed. My look is very minimal which the majority of the time during the day, describes my style in a nutshell. 

These trousers are amazing - they recently went on special price here in the UK so they were only a tenner, I bought these in both blue & black and they are definitely going to end up a wardrobe staple of mine! The weather is beautiful here in Malta, around 20 degrees warm, so a jacket wasn't necessary. I decided to just wear a little sweater and it sufficed, I then completed this look with my Stan Smith shoes to stay comfortable throughout my busy day. 

OUTFIT TWO:

I got my hair did! I'm sure you can tell the difference from the above pic and this one. I've had my hair short before so it's not really a big change, but the past few months my hair has grown so much and has lost it's style which in turn wasn't making me feel like myself so you can just imagine how much happier I feel! I wanted to dress up slightly especially to compliment my 'new' look. I just have a black blouse along with my slightly ripped navy jeans and my booty heels. This long cardy I had gotten it once reduced it was an amazing bargain and I just love it, especially for a weather like today. What's also not evident is that I styled this look with a choker & my apple watch, very minimal accessory but one that complimented this outfit quite nicely with the colour coordination. No doubt most of my outfit images are going to be with my sunnies - they are a huge part of my look, which I count as an accessory rather than a necessity and I'm trying to take advantage of it whilst it lasts. (Lets be honest I've even tried the whole shades on winter days in London and I looked plain ridiculous)

OUTFIT THREE: